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AWARENESS INTERRACIAL DATING MY PERSPECTIVE Many will read this and determine that I am an advocate of interracial dating, merely because I am not bashing it. We have so many people who are running around and pretending to be politically correct, pro-Black, etc. and God help anyone who does not share their views. Some say she wants to be white because she uses correct grammar and you do not like her enunciation. Others say he is not true because of whatever reason. And God forbid those who are walking down the streets hand in hand with someone of another race! Why shouldnt I date outside of my race if that is what I choose to do? Many cite erosion of the Black culture and the complications that arise out of interracial relationships as reasons not to do it. However, if I date a person and he treats me with the utmost respect, am I to discount him merely because he is not Black? No, of course not. Relationships should be based on trust, respect, caring and sharing. Race is incidental. Other peoples opinions are insignificant. The only thing we should be concerned with is how we feel and how our families feel. If your parents are opposed to this type of relationship, it would be more difficult to maintain, but the opinion of Joe Streetwalker should not be important. What about the preservation of culture? Many of us do not preserve the culture when we date within our own race, so why should this become a factor when dating someone outside of the race? In some cases, that person may have a rich culture as well. In dating anyone from another country, one learns many things - new and different cuisines, various forms of etiquette and even other languages. One may ask, "How can you forget all the transgressions against our ancestors?" I cannot and will not. Our history is very important and should remain printed indelibly in our brains. This should not preclude a relationship with a person who cares about you. On the flip side, I feel that Black men are special. They are intriguing and complex. A strong Black man is capable of anything and everything. Whats most special about our Black men is the variety ranging from café au lait to licorice. Tantalizing. Everything is always so intense and filled with passionto the extent of making a womans knees weak, just knowing what her Black man is capable of. Its inspiring to hear his resonant and distinguished voice as he provides you with advice, insight, and knowledge. That is special. Nothing could ever compare to that! Envisioning him walking in his all of his splendor as others gaze in awe of his presence, is special and remarkable. Therefore, I cannot say that I would ever turn my back on our proud, industrious Black men. I merely say to those who are constantly in judgment of others that you should let each individual decide what he or she wants to do with regards to their choices. If they chose to lose their culture or identity, it is their loss. Perhaps something in their lives drove them to that extreme. In short, life is too short! Live it to the fullest. Do what you choose and not what others expect you to do. Otherwise, you will be unhappy while others thrive and enjoy their lives!
Editor's note: A friend wrote an article for a Local Interracial Organiztion, and I thought I would share it with the readers.
Raising Biracial children as One race or as Biracial
When I had my first son, I had comments like your boys are black..not white. Since you are black, your boys are black too. Say What?!? The message I was getting: Society will see your sons as black period. That's impossible because my sons don't look a thing like me. Oh sure they have my eye coloring and a few of my features, but usually people mistake me for their care giver.
Right now my kids are not really active in cultural events because they are so young. Will I involve them in more ethnic happenings as they get older? I just don't know what yet. Will we celebrate Kwanza and Christmas? To be honest, I never participated in things such as Kwanza. What's the big deal now? I mean the black weddings I have attended in the past has never involved anyone "jumping the broom". Most black women I know relax their hair instead of letting it go natural.
I guess that it is assumed that since I am black, I should know my heritage. I know as much as the history books taught us in school...a paragraph. So why is it such a big deal now to immerse my boys in African Culture? Are they afraid that I will water it down? Well, to be honest I can't water down something that I don't know much about. However, I do find my self lately doing more reading about my culture. So I guess I am partly buckling under peer pressure but I also want to do this for me.
Parents should not feel pressured to choose a racial identity for their child(ren). How we raise our children should be based on what kind of values we want to pass onto them. My husband is Norwegian and Swedish. Does Swedish meatballs go with collard greens and corn bread? If you like it, I say enjoy.
But I digress. I am not saying that parents of multiracial children should not be aware of the fact that there are cultural things that we can and maybe should teach our children. I am not saying that we should be color blind and pretend that multiracial is just a word. What I am saying is that our children are just than....children.
Editor's note: here is an interesting article I read recently.
THE NEW INGREDIENT IN THE IDENTITY OF BLACK BIRACIAL CHILDREN
by Larry E. Davis
Some parents of black biracial children are being unrealistic. It is a mistake to promote a biracial identity for children born to black and non-black parents. African Americans are a multiracial people. It is estimated that well over 70 percent of African Americans have white ancestry, while others have ancestors who are Native American, Hispanic and Asian. Virtually all African Americans can identify some relative who is "mixed with something." So what is new in the identity of today's children born to black and non-black parents? Only the identities of non-black parents. For the first time in this country, large numbers of non-black parents wish to be identified as the parents of a child by a black person. Historically, the parents of children born to black and non-black unions have been severely castigated, which largely explains their traditional invisibility. It is understandable that parents want to share in their children's racial identities. Still some parents hope foremost to distance their children from black America and the problems associated with it. The tacit goal is to establish a more positive, that is "less black" racial-group identity for their children. This effort will only confuse and serve to encourage these children to be all they can never be -- non-black. Parents of black biracial children who possess the need to foster on their children a non-black identity will ultimately serve only their own interests. The needs of the parents will be satisfied at the cost of the future life experiences of the child. Being black in America if difficult enough, but a lifetime spent denying or qualifying it will be even more so. To deny being black when everyone else who looks like them is considered black will cause the children to lose out on what is a rich heritage and a positive sense of who they are. Whether the parents like it or not, the bulk of America will not ask the recency of their children's miscegenation, nor the extent of it. By virtue of being indistinguishable from the larger group of African Americans, these new "black biracial" children will be subjected to all the liabilities of being black in America. Yet failing to acknowledge themselves as members will result in their denying themselves a wealth of benefits. What benefits? Ask Alice Walker, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Cornell West, Maya Angelou, Spike Lee, and Toni Morrison. Black biracial people, who have been taught to dis-identify with other African Americans, are apt to experience tension when among the very group who would most immediately and sincerely be their friends and supporters, wives and husbands. At the same time, they will be given no commensurate outpouring of friendship and support from non-black society. Parents of biracial children should work to improve life opportunities of all children, and especially for those with whom their children will be forever linked -- African American children. For ultimately only a few non-black people will respond to these new "black biracial" children any differently than they would any other black child. The non-black parents of black children must come to grips with the socio-political history of black and non-black miscegenation in America. They must recognize that children in America who have any recognizable African ancestry are by definition African American. They would do well to encourage their children to follow the example of innumerable role models who may physically look like them: Colin Powell, Halle Berry, Sonja Sonchez, Mario Van Peebles, and Tiger Woods. Their children should be taught that the group to which they belong, is in fact a group to be proud of, and one which has always been multiracial. Few groups anywhere in the world are more multiracial than African Americans. I have little doubt that the greatest source of support and encouragement for black biracial children will come from the larger African American community. Unfortunately, this is the very group which some would have them deny. Children born of black and non-black parents must be told that they are not the first to have white, Asian and Hispanic parents, but are among literally millions that have come before them. What may make them different is not the color of their parents, but that their non-black parents are proud to be identified as their parents.